I'm gonna find a way to make it

I'm gonna do me. I am to make a list of my goals for the year this week and I will post them. Once I achieve them I will cross them off. Goal #1: Leave my train wreck of a marriage. I was hoping to achieve this one by the end of the month but that doesnt look like it will happen. I know it will happen soon though that is for sure. Every day that passes I get a little more ballsy. I find myself listening to Leona Lewis "Happy" on repeat. The chorus is truly how I feel. It goes something like this:
So what if it hurts me?
So what if i break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of groud.
I gotta find my place, I gotta hear my sound.
Dont care about all the pain in front of me
Cause I'm just trying to be happy.

I told myself that part of my new years resolution was going to be to try and find the good in almost everything. The good in leaving my marriage is that we will both be happier people. Maybe not in the beginning but in time when everything heals we will both be complete again. I need someone who gets me. I need someone who compliments me. I want to be able to live my life. I want to be able to do things without him and not feel guilty about it and vice versa. I want someone who loves me truly, madly, deeply. I want somone who falls in love with me over and over agian. I want someone who will romance me every now and then. is that to much to ask for?!

do you ever wonder...

I do. All the time. I think a lot of that comes from working at the bux. I see people coming in all day long and I cant help but wonder what they do. Who are they? Why aren't they at work? What do they do for a living? Do they work? Did they just get laid off? Do they really like sbux or do they drink it for the label? Then there are the people who come in and sit there all day and I cant help but think to myself why the hell are they here so long?! Do they seriously have nothing else to do that they can afford to sit here for 8 hours a day?! I am also amazed at the wide array of people that come in. From the homeless to the filthy rich and everyone in between. The funny thing is the more money they have the less they tip!! I can't stand when someone puts a penny in the tip jar. Really?!? A penny? How the hell am I supposed to split that up between 12 people. Keep your damn penny. And you dont want me to get started on being on your phone while ordering!! Oh lord! If you take only one thing away from entire blog let it be this...get off your damn phone while ordering!! You are the rudest person in the world to be on your cell phone and having a conversation while placing your order. And dont even expect me to know what you are talking about if you try to sign something to me. Put the phone down for 5 seconds to place your order and then go back to your conversation. Please dont expect me to try and talk to you or be nice to you while I am making your drink. You are rude enough to pretty much ignore me and without telling me directly you are saying that I am not important enough for you to stop your conversation for 5 seconds so to me you are not important enough to try and have a conversation with!! And dont you dare have the audacity to tell me your drink was made wrong, you were too damn busy on the phone to realize how you ordered it!! So please hang up the phone or put it down while ordering or checking out at a store. Sorry, that was my rant for the day!! There will be more to come. Tomorrow should be interesting...

My day off.....

So today was my day off. I went down to my parents place to start clearing out my old room and try to sell some of my stuff. I found 18 pairs of Gap jeans. No that isn't a typo I really found 18 pairs. Thats a lot of wasted money**a minimum of $1,000**!! geeze. So anyways I took tank to the groomers and he got so fresh and so clean clean :) I was able to talk to my cousin Andrew for about 45 minutes today which was wonderful. He is in Switzerland & I miss him like crazy!!! Then I went out for margaritas with Ashley tonight which was awesome. We had to cut the night short because the roads were turning into ice, lame!! This is why I hate Chicago. So what do I do?! I bought a plane ticket to Florida!! :) I really need to get my life in order and get my happy ass out to Florida for good. To me happiness is palm trees, sunshine & a pool!! And I would be soooo rich because I wouldnt be stuck inside 6 months out of the year so I wouldnt be shopping online which would save sooooo much money!! And I would be so thin because I would be outside all day every day *when it was sunny and warm of course*. I would probably have a really hard time working though the first year because I would want to be outside, always!! This is why I think I would be an amazing trophy wife/ stay at home mother!! just sayin....

Welcome!

Welcome!! This is the first time I am ever doing something like this. Crazy!! This blog is about nothing special, just my day to day adventured from work to friends to home life. Sometimes it will be good. Sometimes it will be bad. Sometimes it will be happy and other times sad. But at the end of it all it will be honest.

So a little about me. I go by M. I am unhappily married and trying to get out but I am too nice!! My best and worst quality...I care about others and their happiness waaaaay too much. I am 25, almost 26 *yikes*. I have an older sister, twin brother & younger brother. My parents have been married for 30 years!! I was born and raised in Chicago. Best city in the world. You have everything that you could ever want and more right at your door. However, Chicago and I have a love hate relationship. As much as I love Chicago and all it has to offer, I hate living here. My heart is in Florida and always has been. I work fulltime as a manager of a very popular coffee shop. Oh the stories I will tell on here. I feel that I am random at times. I probably have a champagne taste on a beer budget, although the champagne is a fairly cheap one. I cant live without my music. I love to dance but am probably terrible at it. I love trashy reality tv shows. I love purses, shoes, flip flops and wallets. I love love which gets me in trouble a lot. I long for romance. I hate my teeth but everyone says they are "me". lame. I would get fake boobs in a heartbeat. I have dreams of being a trophy wife one day while owning my own kick ass company. One day I will make a name for myself. I will leave my footprint on the world! Well that is all for now. Stay tuned, the adventures are about to begin!!